Of course we hope, who doesn't? What most important is to recognize what IS
happening and don't let hope disappoint us. Hope serves to bring us through not
pour us down. Try this, I've learnt from somewhere that in everyday, people says
" I hope so " and feeling that these things wouldn't work out, but we should put
hope in things that will definitely happen. Something like that. Make good use
of hope. It's a word to bring joy.
If in the future, a person were to ask me which period of time I was at my lowest point, I would answer '09. It's a year filled with tribulations and hopelessness and an act I had to put up. I felt as though I lost my identity because I have not been hanging with the people whom I am familiar with, comfortable with. Even if I do, I realise I am not as comfortable with them as I was last time. Everyone has moved on. I have not. It takes me ages to realise. I can't let go of someone, I can't let go of the sorrowful incidents... act of childishness. You can't grow without letting go, shed your old dead skin away. I don't that burning desire anymore because I feel that wherever I land in I will be save in His hands. That mindset is wrong, someone please tell me and reprimand me. Someone close... I remembered Mr C's words were hurtful and realistic; they helped. Yea, someone like him. The consoling thing was from the way he speaks, you can tell he wasn't looking down at you or feeling you are hopeless and totally wrong. He probably felt that you just need a pull back and see what's there in life. He doesn't push facts down your throat, he just open your eyes to see. Why am I so grateful when he probably doesn't care... ...
Labels: random
Yesterday another close friend told me that I am too serious. Am I?
When this particular person asked me to remember to select those happy memories to keep, I realised I had already erase them all to keep the sad ones. I was only 13 or 14 how would I know which were the moments to treasure? In fact, I only remembered telling myself '05 was my very very important year with someone so I remembered most of the things which include that person. The rest? Blank. That is one regret that I have now.
The fact that I don't think flexibly can hurt a lot of people around me. Then they have to talk their way through to appease me. If not, the wall will slowly build itself.
wish you won't read this, 'cause it's part of my weaker side.in the morning when Pastor Ben smsed me and saved me from my nightmare, I teared. It was a spontaneous one which I can't work my mind to make it funny at all. Maybe I did, on the part where a woman( I know her) met an car accident and her bodies flew apart unrealistically. Despite it being so unreal, I screamed and cried and I picked up her body parts for certain cells to save another person. To think days ago I dreamt of giving another speech. Great contrast. Now I am feeling like I am lying on the water face down, any stir and I am going to sink. I must erase this nightmare. I am like experiencing what is undesirable and dying to pull myself out of this mess. I dreamt of myself learning how to fly.... dreamt of this person who have went yesterday who commented on dressing and some good friends who were my strong support and still are in my dreams. dreamt of 4D ppl.haha most of whom refuse to lend me money to buy toothbrush and toothpaste. =.=If this isn't real, who can explain to me those experienced I had in the past 2 years? If this isn't real, why will I be crying Your name in thin air? During that fearful morning with the threathening claps of thunder, I thought You were there but I didn't felt safe, even for the rest of the day. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to youLabels: random
