OH MY GOSH! I MISS SFC!!!

It’s has been barely a week since I last saw them and it kills me!

After I’d done my QT, I wanted to do reflection and as I opened my journal the things inside fell off as usual. The yellow paper never fails to catch my attention and I was so excited to read it.

And once again I know I have so many supports behind me! Haha!

And I feel bad not doing anything. I guess I am going to do something.

Haha! Get some time!!!

Sometimes, disobeying mum seems more frightening than disobeying God. Even dad will think so but well, currently...

Haha, why does my mum thinks that I will be more happier with her living around quarrelling with dad daily rather than living without a mum? Lols. It’s really... funny. Just that it’s a stinging ticklish feeling. WHATEVER. =)

Right.

No, not right. Everything seems out of place today, even our brains. Haha. We brought white roses at a price of 2bucks each stalk. And remembering how Daddy used to break the stems for some places, we got LYNN to break them. Well, laughs out loud.

OH YA, Nette’s message was funny. Yea I mean YA I KNOW IT’S that but I laugh when I see the next line after the name of the place. It’s not supposed to be funny but... ya, it’s just crazy mind of mine perhaps.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I JUST REALISE IT HAD BEEN AGES SINCE I LAST HEAR HER VOICE! WOO!

Haha. And I saw Jeanie again. =)

DAPH DAPH. Haha, her name never fails to linger in my mind once I catch a glimpse of it. DAPH DAPH DAPH DAPH DAPHNE.

Yea, strong evidence of us not being is our right mind was that hitchhike. Yea trust me. We hitchhike on this man who is in his mid-fifties/forties big SLIVER car without doing the following...

1.check out the plate no
2.take out camera capture his face
3.ask where he is going
4.think of not taking at all

All we did was taking his suggestion of bringing us to the MRT station and went into his car just like THAT! Despite the black face and nudges I got from sok... haha

AND THE NEXT THING HIPPO, SOK and I did was vigorously hitting the buttons on our phones. LYNN at the most left end looked at us and I wanted to LOL but... ya. We try our best to remain silent in case we shout for help.

HIPPO on my left show me what she typed. What if he rapes us ltr? (Something like that)
Sok on my right whisper what if he sends us and sell us?

LOL!!! They were so paranoid! Haha. Actually I was the first one who finished typing and it’s scary. Haha

And the man was demented bah. IN THAT PLACE ISN’T IT OBVOIUS THE REASON WHY WE ARE THERE?

On the journey he asked why you girls go to such a place? For project ar? Or go catch spiders?
DOTS DOTS DOTS!!!

My gosh!

Seriously... I am dumbfounded.

The reason why I wasn’t afraid was... I thought he might be father of someone and ya...
YA

And on the train we began to reflect upon our actions as realise we may be demented in that moment too. HAHA! And LYNN kept saying she would be ready to fight and HIPPO said LYNN would have screamed.

And LYNN thought she would come out with a string of vulgarities!! Which I think is 100% true! HAHA! DAMM FUNNY!

And IS it hippo? Haha who said that we got 4 people we could have attack him. LOL!
And a question why didn’t that man think so.
LOL!

It was totally awkward when the man offered us medical oil because he thought we had been feeding mosquitoes and we instantly rejected him in different chorus. LOL!

I didn’t feel what I ought to, but instead it deems to me as a normal meeting and to catch up with each other. Doesn’t that seems sad? As in I didn’t detect any hint of negative feelings at all! AT ALL! Seriously... and it’s a tendency for me wanting to be drawn into the blackness but I just can’t find anyone to bring me down. Not even SA TAN. LOL. As in... ya!

I have no idea when it hit me that this day is really a day of joy because she went home! I take that for real! I don’t know whether I should thank God to laugh or to cry about it. I am just... awed.

Nevertheless, I could still sense. The grief still lingers among our presence. For once, I felt so left out. I couldn’t join them in grief but just be so normal.

And I was indifferent. I was dumb today. I thought it was obvious that I couldn’t give enthusiastic response to Sok’s interesting recount of her camp. That girl was really silly and funny la! about her that thing and falling flat... ha SERIOUSLY FUNNY. Haha. =X

I only know that...I didn't want to speak... at all.

I am here trying my utmost best to catch anything I did to show that I was sad.

WHY?
Because... I am afraid.
I cried my heart out, losing breathe and within an hour, I was all calm.
And after CALIN MDM!!! ‘s pushing... yea.
History repeats itself.
Why oh why do I have different reactions each time but with the similar emotions flowing in the blood and can never be tangible and never be stopped and never be taken out of my life.
How dearest angel... have you left me... us... fragile and defenceless to the waves of emotions hitting us.
I love you forever 4th sister! See you in our home! Singing the song in full the next time I see you.

And now, at this time, I wished that you are here, and I can say it out, I LOVE YOU. and knowing it goes into your ears.
MY GOSH! NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I SAY I LOVE YOU YOU CAN'T HEAR!
But I know you do. God knows. Heavenly Father...
and I am going to eat. Haha! cus ya...
if you have no idea. I get hungry when I am sad.
PLUS I yawn when I am nervous.
I have no idea why I am writing all these now for people to know... maybe something unique they can leave when they come to my funeral someday. LOL!

and that time I admit something! I wanted a pink coffin in the past! MY GOSH! that's freaking EW. Haha!

Pardon me dear people.
I have decided not to give love without knowing that person enough le. Sorry Lord, but come to think of it as creator You know them isn't it then You love them? Ohdear... question for follow up.

TAKE CARE EVELYN! may God sustain you all the way.
and SFC people.

OH DANN! WHY EVERYTIME I WANT TO END I WILL REMEMBER SOMETHING?! I EVEN POSTED JUST NOW AND oops, now editing

anyway want to emphasize that HIPPO is always interested in dirty things.
And SOK and I thought her the song that Shane sang to me in the camp. LOL. cus HIPPO was soooo interested. haha that she typed in her phone to remember...

If I were a fisherman's son
and I were asked to marry,
I would marry a fisherman's daughter
more than anyone.
(and shane will give this look and says AND YOU KNOW WHY?)
cos she can fish and I can fish
then we can fish together.
in the middle of the night,
fishing - --
LOL. and you sub them with diff jobs.
vampire(suck)
carpenter (s word again)
etc

HAHA I AM going to sing to the class. =D
maybe. not eating le. cus I am happy again. DOTS. but am hungry!