I should talk abt my present life. I'm tired of the old grandmother's story. When I started a friendster blog 2years ago, I didn't expect people to read it. Well, in fact, a lot of people did. Well, I need to be careful. Seriously, I don't understand ,myself. Am I faking everything? Everyone trust me but I don't. Never. Am I like other people, trying to gain people's attention? Am I like betraying my friends? I remembered, last 2years, all my teachers had been telling me, "Among the students we know, you are the most sensible girl and you are mature." I don't agree with them. I always think, mature isn't a good thing. Mature means selfish. I rather be a navie kid. Perhaps that is why, my actions are so silly. IN fact, I don't do what I think, advice. I'm now, so lost. I look into the mirror. Twice. Hui Ling. Devil. Just who am I? I always see myself the most pathetic one among my friends. True. My parents aren't working. They are super old. My relatives are all fakers who look at money and nothing else. A girl once told my friend that I was told them about my pas t is to gain their sympathy. Well, I guess that was true. However, in my view, I just want everyone to understand me, never suspects me. I never wear a mask in front of people. This year, lately, I asked XD " You know last year I HATE you a lot right?" She agreed. Actually, now I don't hate her. I just, hate the fact that she snatches Lynn away. She apologises many times. She didn't mean to. I am in the wrong too, who asked me to run away from them several times. From sec1, I always have the faith in Lynn, I am with her forever and ever. Nobody can take the place in our heart. But ever since she told me that "It's just that she had the same place as you in my heart." I got so hurt and sad. I cried every night that week. Yeh. Well. She wants me to change the 10% in me that she dislike. I won't change.
A lot of people asked me to give up on you. Why should I? In fact, I can't do it. It's like cutting a fresh from my heart. I always say, my heart, is full of water, tears. It had 2 ships on it :Relationship and Friendship. Relationship had sunk, why must you sink my friendship? I am like pushing the blame on you. But I only know, I apologise for being in love with someone you hate.
To another you. You are a nice girl. I know. BUT, I can never forget what you have done. You are a navie girl when I first met you and we had managed to change you into YOU. That's good. But pleace, don't blame me for hating to see you with Lynn and her doing the things to you like how she treated me when we were in sec1 and 2. Am i supposed to leave?
To a grp of people. Well, I don't know how to express this selfish feeling. Once you treated so warmly and now you met another grp and treat them the same way as how you did to me, and now you see me like ??, I'll be so hurt with it.
[[* Snow Queen //*
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
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hello
Hui Ling 040491
really really wants 'Marrying Mozart'
Matthew 17:20 He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
