skipped chemistry lesson lol
LOL.
I skipped my chemistry lesson this morning.
That is my first time skipping lesson.
I woke up at 7 plus, slept, then again at 8.40, 9.30, 10.30 and then the final was 1050 where I got msg from SM who said that she wasing rushing to school. If I were to rush like her, the earliest I can reach there is 1140. Then I decided not to. Do you call that irresposible? No right?
If I want to play the push-the-blame game, I will say... 'He didn't reply when ppl asked him if tml have lesson', 'the shedule at the foyer did not put band1 chem'. naa... I don't like that game...
These few days I set alarm clock to wake me up early to study but all failed, like this morning.
I have this feeling that I didn't study enough, and yes, I didn't study at least 5 hours a day and I didn't stay up late yesterday and friday. [according to hail-ram, we must study at least 5 hours a day] [and according to misss, she said during examination days must not stay up late, but on other days we should stay up late to study.] I feel so guilty.
My father never fail to comment on somebody's marching. LOL. It must be very tiring for them to march in this way but hey, they do so well, they are so perfect, their poistures are there, their rows are need and every action does not show that they are tired. So cool. Do I expect that from my CCA? Or rather, can I expect that from students UGs? To be like them, we must desire to be perfect, a heart after excellence then we can excel. But if we have ppl who don't have these, what can we do? How do you put this mindset in others' minds? Or do we just let them think in another way and let them excel in their way such that they only achieve 70% of the ....
That appiles to study too. I have the desire to be perfect in maths.[and sci actually] The other subjects, well... Sok, do you have sth to say? lol. The thing is, I don't want to lose! Who am I competing with? I don't know. What I know is, I want to achieve As in all my subjects and I want to do better than ... OH YA! Now I know who I am competing with... LOL. Anyone who are in better classes and are not performing to show that they deserve to be there. I sound like a... hmmm.
Wait.
OK. It's not compete. It's like when I know what they can achieve, I tell myself I can too. So what I meant when I say I don't want to lose, means that I don't want to score any lesser than them. Do you call that compete or a way of motivating myself? raa...
I don't deny that I never dreamt of an A for my eng in secondary school. It's so tough. Fish got it with 80+ before lah. Right? Aiya, just know that he got an high A. And I only heard a few got A. That doesn't mean I should not go after it, right Sok? But I am feeling as though I can't move ahead anymore. To be in control in your command in english is not something you can achieve within days, weeks, it is something which you start early which I didn't. and that is killing me because that is my L1. urgh.
My secondary two teacher always remind me to write more often. I thought the only way was writing journal to him. Now I get what he meant... I can start, but I am afraid I won't continue...
and I always tell others 'if you are afraid and you don't make a step, you will never know the actual result, you can never feel the joy of succeeding and the process of learning'..
Monday, September 03, 2007
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