I am quite sad actually because I just changed my hotmail password after 4 years, 4months, and 2 days. lol, no worries I didn't actually recored the dates ya. Haha.

Ok, let's don't make this a draft. I don't think changing myself from a person who always expose her inner feelings to someone who hides all the way is something good.

The interview turns out more like a sharing section for me. Haha and the teachers were encouraging me to look for them whenever I want to. They didn't ask me the questions which they posted to others like what leadership position will you like to have or what do you look in a leader. I can't deny that I want to be in the exco, in fact the first time I signed up SFC as CCA, I want to be a leader. Nonetheless, for the fact that I have no experience in serving God in church, my opporttunity is forsaken. This is a statement before we know the result but I think it's explicit enough. (sorry, forsaken is a strong word, it's 'overstatement'.)

On the long way back to the bus-stop then it hit me again that ha, no wonder I had been coming up with this line that Your position, be it leader or president or even just a member doesn't matter or show how good you are, most importantly is whether you play your role well. Ha, I don't like God. Haha! Why must He make me so understanding? LOL.

Nevertheless, after years of holding leadership postitions, which started as early as primary one, if I don't have one here, I will feel so awkward like I am of no use le. haha, that mindset will be gone.

One thing at least, I am such an encouragement for SFC.
and I didn't tell them one thing that has always been in my mind
serve God.
but haha, I just tell them that it was a mean to deepen my relationship which is true.

Whatever the result, I will still be faithful. Let not desire blind my eyes.
=)

Next!
haha.

What was I talking about in last few drafts?

Oh well, BE OPEN. I was upset about someone's life who, well, may not be as affected as it seems because she is not one to show her weakness, but she is. It's makes 10% sense. And once again I can't stand in her shoes. The worse thing was that my selfishness acts up, such that I was unhappy that she may not try to stand in my point of view before. If I were to be soo affected like her, I am sure she will try all means, and maybe let time heals but surely, it will always be in her mind. Likewise, it's on my mind.

The selfish me says
now if she still treats me as her friend, she should not let me worry and get upset with her

bad eh. Ha but I am scared she will choose to hide it from me. THAT IS WORSE.
so... yesterday I just rant. all I know is loving your friend, is,

Yupp and Physics test was, negatively affecting me. put it that way...

and yesterday I scared DA JIE at orchard's rd street by slapping his back. I practically bleached his face into white sheet. Haha...

sniff sniff.
haha! so glad that I know Da Jie.

and I saw a big teddy bear at TAKA, not the biggest one I ever seen, but because I have known Teddy bear in person(pun) teddy bears seem so... teddddy dy, Haha!

and I wanted to hug one big one to cry like a little girl.

i think one thing that I can never change is, the little girl in me. dann. Haha.

can't be little brother le, xiao didi. haha!

The song that I have been composing is now left to God's fingers. At least, I know it's different song of life,life will not be like those which only comes true under author's pen.

loads of loves, as always