Yesterday was screwed.

I slept at 6am after replying James and woke up at 10 to go Diocese centre to study. My eyes were stuck to the book right after I stepped into the LRT.

And I continued doing that until 3plus. swtich to maths. And I can't slove any Inequalities qns. Then I decided to leave that place at 5plus and admit to my seniors, YES I WAS PUSHING MYSELF REAL HARD.

argg.

And I got home to sleep, not really... but ya

I've been throwing tissues all over. Haha! Bad flu! DANN! I even resolt to get tissues from the toilet la!

And I keep praying. I am so scared that it will end up like that time when I had History Os and Phy and I had high fever. And He answered with a NO.

What a pain.

That freaking diary must be eaten up by my mum and I had to use the book which my dearest JEANIE, WANWAN and WS wrote crap in... haha. And was back to the emo self in sec2 according to WS. haha if she reads this, NO I didn't DO, I just thought of doing but... I didn't ok! ya.

And I realised I am stressed for these...
I can't be a good DI, I can't be a good senior, I can't be a good student, I can't be a good daugther.

WTH. WHy am I putting for much stress on myself?!
And I slept for 12 hours straight.

feeling better now but partly because... I rejected to help the other company to teach their girls stage2&3. especially when I myself can't do slow march properly. I am not as disiplined and strict as my friends in drills. If I am too srtict I will be carried away and that's it. I can't throw 50th company's face away la...

and I haven take out that DI badge. still don't think I deserve it.

MY GOSH. I THINK I am so much more than SOK in going after this perfect thing. lols.

And my MAN said it all..

you are TOO much.

and we both LOL.

haha. Yea, haha that is something real true and I thought nobody realise! hahaha.

when you are enthu, you are TOO high
when you are sad, you get TOO emo

lols

and when I love
when I strive for perfection

and I want to be good christian.

all the dann stress I put on myself.

DUMB.

kk. I wish WS all the best. It's the second day of PBB camp la... and that reminded me... I feel so touched when... the other 3 were looking for my bible cos I lost it... and it meant a lot because RX used it before. haha. I gave up and was thinking of crying in the domm(shucks SM how do you spell that?) but they went to knock on every door. haha...

so touched.

WS jiayou k! and thanks for not replying huh. qian bian de.

and thank goodness if I go for that camp I wonder where will I be at now. will be so freaking stressed up. haywire

and to destress, I played sakura poka cards! LOL who got me that ar... beatrice and sze sze right. lols.

SIGHS. yea and I decided. ya, I feel nothing. so empty. haha. just now how to put it in words.
loves anything related to sun. haha. DANN. lol. but come to think of it when I thank God for the natural things He made, I usu first thank Him for the Sun for it's warmth and magnificent beauty which awed me during sunset.