morose
I feel like slapping faces, kicking chairs, cursing out loud, running in the rain, crying like a baby and hang myself upside down so that the blood will rush down to my brain and let it work at fullest potential.What did I just say?
It's a terrible week and I can't snap out of my darkest nightmares. Not even meeting LYNN was nice... gleeful but there was dark clouds over us; literally and figuratively. I make things complicated, I see things in that way and it's stressing. I should snap out of it. I should just bang my head against the wall and throw my frustrating burdens to my friend above. Sorry for the rudeness, I haven't learn how to be graceful spiritually. That was bad. I am in a dilemma now. GB camp and Live Conc prep camp falls on the exact same dates. The decision is between to improve my walk and growth or to guide the girls whenever they need it. It's killing me.I reflect and reflect... What does reflection comprises of? Is it only thinking through what I had done for the day, or does it coupled with actions? I had done so many reflections in my life, in fact I do so daily and eventually I see no purpose in it. I know myself well now, very well. I can easily write out a few pages describing my character, behaviors and actions. However, each time I looked at the mirror, the messed up areas I saw are still there.And today I said "I am willing to let my loved ones to manipulate me."Labels: random
Saturday, February 21, 2009
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