(it's a long, wordy post)

I thrive on support and love from people around me.
Before the collection of As, I talked to Jeremy Mentor that I feared the worst. He shared with me that a pastor told him to think of the worst scenarios first, how you would respond, then it would be easier for you to accept it when it comes. I did that and yet I was still panicking. The time came when I was to face the possible scenarios, I seemed to be the only one not feeling nervous at all.

Everyone was afraid to see their results, I didn't even get the chance to be afraid. The result was right there on the table in my face, no one was covering it and no one saw it. I was upset over my results instantly but I still faced my friends with a smile. Then, Shane appeared, I cried. Shane, thank you so much for the simple actions you do that are enough to touch my heart. =) I hugged Celest, cried in front of Shane, told Sok I would cry with her at her house, talked to Jeremy... where Matthew and him together lighten my spirits somehow with their comical actions. Haha. I was so shocked by Matthew, haha, thanks for the handkerchief. Really. Somehow, knowing that even you will be supportive, it cheers me up.

The most unbelievable thing on that day was for me to cry for 2 hours during the whole cell meeting. Haha! Tricia even made me say 4 easy words which I found it extremely difficult to say. Thank you Tricia, thank you so much. The cell was supportive even though I met them less than 5 times.

The last best thing that day was having a message from Lynn and a chat with Ian.
The following 2 days I met up with Lynn and XinDi. How long had it been since I last saw XinDi! I was so delighted to see her. This 2 old friends are great-)

Then there is WS, SM and my colleagues...

It won't be easy without simple words and support by these people, they helped me to accept myself and my results.

Of course, I won't forget you God. If You really think I am too young and do not know what is right for me so You nudged me to the path, I will heed Your advice. I am willing to accept anything from You.

I have been thriving so much (and like the idea of that) on support that I even asked for a teacher to pray for his students who didn't do well.

Still, I am happy* for a jump from almost U to A in econs and U to B in Math. (CLAPS)

*multiply that by zillion times

Labels: school

I met SM earlier on to have a haircut at CCK. Her parents came along and so did Kiki. A little boy in a pram was so gleeful each time he touched Kiki. He would make this gesture like how people make a wish and gave a wide grin and arh~(high pitch). Haha. How adorable.

In the midst of our brunch, someone called out 'Teacher Hui Ling!' I almost fall off my seat!
definitely not used to getting greeted like this at the age of 19 in public

While waiting for the shop to open, SM and I were busying with our phones outside the shop. felt as though we were there waiting for the auntie to pay her debts. Haha. I was worried that my student would see me sitting there playing hp games and sitting like erm... not like a teacher? Hah

Each time Sok and I shop at Mondo, I would always happen to be wearing their products. It's so awkward! There was once when I put back the Mondo shoe I tried, I saw another Mondo shoe and put it on the rack... turns out that shoe belonged to someone already. Haha, I felt so guilty when that lady was panicky looking for her shoe. Haha.

Truth be told, I am feeling nervous since a few days ago. Results are coming out soon. Despite having making decisions and consider all possible outcomes, I still feel lost. Lost, is one of the undesirable emotion for me. On the bright side, I will learn how to appreciate and follow Him closely... on the down side, it may take too long.

ARH!!! =(
Let tomorrow worries for itself.

Labels: school

Gosh. The days at class Chalet was so memorable.

On the first day, Su, Rach, YQ and I went to Rhon's house in the morning. Rach and I raided her room for her collection of CDs. Gosh, she has so many!!! Rach watched "We Got Married" hyunjoong&Hwangbo cuts at Rhon's house...
blah blah then we went to get egg tarts and Rhon made us walk to Parkway Parade from her house so that she could get a cake for her cousin.
We arrived at Tampiness at 3.35pm? We thought that the shuttle bus comes but that wasn't it. The next one was supposed to come at 5pm. There is nothing around so.

-SU and Rhon chose to walk
-Eric Chan, me, Rach, kun wei, YQ played bridge. Ha, Eric and I always win!
-bus came

-the girls watched vantage point and their eyes were stuck there, on the TV
-guys cooked for us –thanks-

-Mrs Cheng brought her kids!!! Mr Fong came too (The girl has her mom’s look and the boy has his dad’s look. Fair. Haha)
-Kel VS Mrs Cheng's boy in a car race and always win because he used cheats while the kid didn't. Tsk*
-We watched Rat Race, thanks to Rachel. Gosh, the movie was hilarious.

-AND, this I will never forget. Rach+YQ+Rhon+Dona attacked me while I was onthe sofa. Pulled my hair, took unglam pictures, and Rhon held me with her legs!!! ...
-while I was bathing, Su tried to rush me... 3 guys was right outside the toilet haunting me with their voices.
-wu shuang tied dona's hair!!! =D 2 pink rubber bands and 1 brown, mine. haha Jie jie was finally once jie jie

-A walk in the park, nothing to do, 17 of us sat down and played zhong ji mi ma.
-teddy carried Dona on his back and ran towards another group of ppl as punishment?
-me, kun and ? never chose the ‘wrong no’ before. Josh was caught 5-6 times? HA!
-went back, played majiong for 4 hours? Lady luck travelled in one round! John won some, eric.c win some, followed by Rhon. When it was my turn, I won once and they decided to stop playing. UNFAIR!
-majiong all the way... don’t remember oh!

-Rhon, YQ and I went to catch sunrise, unfortunately, there were clouds hovering the sky so we could only catch gradient of colours base the primary colour yellow? ... (why am I typing in this way)






-Then go back, another round of majiong, Su woke up and she was so fresh!
-Played some games when Rach left. Su,YQ,Rhon,me,Teddy,Josh played this game where each of us recite a number and put a card down. If the number and the card matches, last person to realise, collect all the cards.
-the next one was to call each other’s name when both parties put down the same card. Josh lost the first game because he named himself ‘Apple’ while sneaky people like Su and Rhon, pomegranate and bacheeku? (note, I don’t know what it is and can’t find it online) ...

-We had lunch at KFC. Head to supermarkets and get food for BBQ again.

*unimportant* I called Sok and talked to someone. RECONCILE! =) Happy ending!
*coughs* someone, rolled on me twice and pushed me out of the bed and I couldn't move her at all. time to check my spine.

-I didn’t help to cook again but tried to prepare the orange juice, only, I know.
-After all the food was cooked, we gathered at a round table and cheers with sausage with a hot wanton soup in the middle. *it’s like a family. Wen nuan*


Actually I wanted to help cooking... but the reason for why I didn’t. Ha, one person knows it. Stupid isn’t it?

pss, should I highlight the main ideas or let you tire you eyes?
I am lazy.

The third day was the most intriguing and inspiring day. Haha. Teddy, Dona, YQ, Rhon and I decided to walk to the Changi Airport runaway. We started at 12plus. The runaway was enclosed using 2 fences that were far apart. We wanted to get a seat so we walked around the fences in hope of the seats. Things were getting so exciting because we could see some planes are taking off. Suddenly on the path that we were walking on, there were more and more snail-look seeds. That totally freaks me out. Rhon acclaimed that she would protect me from snails. Next, I saw one cockroach ran across YQ's feet but I said nothing in case Rhon screams. Unfortunately, Rhon saw one herself and screamed and PS-ed me. ... Thus, we decided to let Jie and Teddy walk in front of us. Then Dona saw one and he didn't move so that he could block the cockroach from us. At the second Rhon screamed so loudly! Gosh. ... Walk of our fears... Rhon was unlucky. She accidently stepped on ants and got bitten. Subsequently, instead of looking at the planes we look at the ground all the time.

The path leads to an end. We decided to walk on the roads since there were no cars. There was no buildings nor and signs ahead of the road at all except for the airport beside us. We walked and walked. My throat was sore so I kept quiet and the 5 blisters on my foot were killing me. I decided to walk ahead of everyone, quickly. The hope of reaching the airport, enjoying the air con and the nice food there motivates us to walk further. Some cars drove pass us so we had to walked on the grass patch beside the road. To my utmost unfortunate, I stepped on big ants and one of them bit on my left foot! My left foot with the 4 blisters! Gosh. PAINFUL! Finally I understood how Rhon felt. I took a look at those grass patches and realised there were many ants along them. Then I saw green lights ahead and I asked Rhon 'cars don't have green lights right?' The group decided it must be the traffic light and we were motivated again. The fact that were the only light on the road... After a few minutes, we observed that the green light never change at all. That kind of diminishes our hopes again. ... Rhon kept asking the guys 'how long more? how come the green light move further and further when we are walking...' Haha. Gosh. walk walk walk

Nearer and nearer we got to the green lights and there was a sign, it said 'airport fire station'. ... We carried on... and then Dona said there was a while light ahead and that should be our goal, it must be the runaway. I squinted and that light was as small as a pinhead! Gosh. How far could that be?! Anyway we just carried on. Something distracted me while I was walking ahead of them. Dona's shadow was punching my shadow casted on the road. 3 options for me, 1 ignore, 2, punch him back, 3scare him. Then at an instance I turned and stared at him. Dona and teddy were so shocked! Dona held to teddy and they took a step back with big eyes glaring at me! Ha, so cute!!! I laughed. =D

The cars coming were getting bigger. Lorries. There was this lorry that went pass us and honked at us! All of us were so shocked and each time we saw other lorries coming our way we prepared ourselves for the honk.

We sang songs; actually, the girls sang songs. Songs like Barney’s theme song, ai lai guo blah blah.

We got to a turn and carried on walking. At that turn, we couldn’t really see the airport anymore. There was a traffic light and a small road, aviation road, on our right that leads to a building. That building shone greenish and bluish lights that made it look haunted. Frightening la! After that, we saw more huge buildings on the left. Factories? Industries? We only recognised one name, UPS. Then there was this huge drain with black water which scared Jie and me.

The next significant thing we saw was a bus stop and a ferry terminal. Jie exclaimed that it was where we took ferry to the BMTC. Gosh. We rested for 5 minutes at the bus stop and that was where I found another blister. ... We walked on to Changi beach and Changi park? Rhon finally recognised the place and said she might know the way back from there. I walked ahead again then suddenly they shouted ‘HL! There’s a cat following you!’ I looked back and there was a yellow-orange cat running after me. I didn’t believe them so I ran. It ran after me. I walked to the left, it walked to the left. How freaking can that get!? It followed me like 5mintues? Gosh. There were many cats. Oh, then a familiar sound rang in our ears. It got louder, and louder. Singapore airlines plane! It flew in our direction and 5 of us were 5m beneath it. Me, forget to breathe at that instance.

Oh, I think before that... We wanted to find the vending machine to get a drink. The 2 vending machines that we found were all faulted. URG.

Eventually, we walked to the end of the park, facing waters. We ended up walking to a village, Changi village. That was when I realised; I am finally familiar to one place. (HOW CAN I FORGET THE PLACE WE ALWAYS GO TO FOR PULAU UBIN FERRY!?)

Anyway, then we saw bikers again. Annoying. They laughed and one guy asked his friends to be cautious in case they got pulled away. I didn’t understand at that instance but I noticed 3 weird people far away from us. Rhon began the story about gay prostitutes positioning at that area during night time. Gosh. Teddy added on that the guys laughter we heard was theirs. *Disgust*

We went to a convenient store, get a drink and took cab home. The uncle agreed to take all 5 of us and claimed that he would bring us back using the road we used within 10 minutes. He did. Look.


I guess I only have this pic the first night walk, maybe more but ...

*special thanks to YQ, you accompanied me all the way when my feet was hurting and you listening to all my whining. Thanks, really.
*the guys who cooked! Duh!
*SOK AND RACH! Both of you said the similar thing which is ‘talk to that person la, it will be fine no worries’. I am so glad! Haha.
*a note to myself, see map using google.com, drag little man to the street and picture the walk again

Labels: school

"That's not the point."

It take years for one to understand how another thinks and works.
Sok, thank you so much.

search deeper
words left unsaid are left unheard
be tactful
observe

Labels: school

Enthusiasm is agape directed at a particular idea or a special thing. We have all experienced it. When we love and believe from the bottom of our heart, we feel ourselves to be stronger than anyone in this world, and we feel a serenity that is based on the certainty that nothing can shake our faith, This unusual strength allows us to make the right decision at the right time, and when we achieve our goal, we are amazed at our capabilities. Because we are involved in a good fight, nothing else is important, enthusiasm carried towards our goal.

Life becomes a Sunday afternoon, we ask for nothing grand, and we demand nothing more than we are willing to give. In that state, we think of ourselves as being mature, we put aside fantasies of our youth and we seek personal and professional achievement. We are surprised when people our age say that they still want this or that out of life. But really, deep in our hearts, we know that what has happened is we renounced the battle for our dreams - we have refused to put up the good fight.

Your devil has tried three classical approaches: a threat, a promise, and an attack on your weak side.

The Pilgrimage - Paulo Coelho

If you really care, you will go further and search the pot of gold in one's heart.

I had nothing to say about the papers. I really did all the revision I could nevertheless, it's not the amount of work and effort you have put in that will prevail in your results. It's how much you have absorbed and truly understand and amazed by the knowledge that will show.

Labels: random, school

You sure you want to read this post? =) I try to help you highlight main points k?

I just finished bathing after reaching home.
Oh well, that's beside the point. This week or these few weeks I had been terribly upset over several issues including my own walk and how things can get ugly if I want them to be. Well, such as giving attitude to people.. such as losing all my patience over some words...
so...

Today I went to Mentors' room... after Shane left I cried. Ha, oh well then I wrote a letter to Eve which in the end, I didn't give. Thank God for pointing out through Evelyn about that.

I just never realise that the imperfectness I have is the reason why people say "we fall short and we need God's grace". Grace is a rather big word and now I have finally come to understand it. How amazing it is. God didn't show us our weakness so that we may turn to Him, He do so because we are really weak.

Then... I was stressed up and crap... Had a chat with Eve and sisters. I really thank God for all He has done. All of us has our time where we broke down after certain circumstances and we may even lose hope. Some people who doesn't know God or who are unable to handle well will in turn have a grumpy or negative character build up in them after the long run. On the other hand, God, being love, is able to restore what is lacking in our lives and thus also build our character. I have to admit, I have already fed the negative thoughts and turn them into my attitude. It's really bad.

At the EW/LC dinner/gathering, we had fellowship, worship and watched the video. It brought back memories and allowed us to remember the purpose again. Vera, CK a.k.a Samantha, Hilary and Shane, Evelyn and Rachel shared their thoughts/testimonials. God has pushed us to step out of our comfort zone and prove to us, if we are faithful, so will He.

We can't measure how successful the EW/LC is according to the answers to alter call. Inter-trust is important and also, embrace God's promise. God is interesting man... He is honest and He already tell us in the bible that we will grow weary and tired. However we failed to remember that and we just pray God will give us strength without actually remembering He already knows. That applies to me.

Isaiah 40
28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Embrace God's promise and hope in the Lord and that brings me to

Romans 5
3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us

Amazing ain't He?

Finally at the end of the day, Vera thought I was from J1. She pulled both my cheeks saying you are cute leh! and so nice to bully and so funny!
During dinner Shane totally supports her. How nice. I am being kind ok.

AND to end off... haha. Vera, Elsa, Me and Chesed took 142 from the main gate... We sat at the seats where one pair will face the other. We chatted and suddenly Elsa realised we forgot to press the bell! Panickly, I wanted to press the bell supposedly on the window frame but it wasn't there! Chesed responded and tried to press the bell supposedly on the bar and it wasn't there either! GG! We missed the stop.

Labels: He talks to me, school, SFC

It wasn't that bad until I got home, bursting into tears when my mum's shouting almost tear the house down. Then I called HIPPO whom is expert at spraining her ankle to ask her where to go. The moment she said "It's very pain right," I knew she absolutely understand how I was feeling and I felt relieved for that.

I hopped around on my left foot the whole day on Wed. I didn't expect my X-ray result of my leg-ankle bone was so nice la! It was perfect man! Haha, I told my dad that after drinking so many cartons of milk all these years and if my bone still break, I might as well just vomit out all those milk. =.=

The doctor was very nice you know!!! and funny. First visit, he gave me 1MC for no-PE for 2 weeks, 1MC for no-shoes for 2 days. When I hopped to the door, he realised I couldn't even stand on my foot, he immediately signed me off to X ray. Second visit, he insisted on getting MC for 2 days. I told him I had msa and probably not allowed to re-take.
He said "SAJC, it's very far from here right. You can't even walk! You shouldn't go at all! How come your school so weird? School reopen have exams already."

Deep down I was wishing he would go make a complain. Everything is so sui!! WS couldn't get what she wanted sooo much, Belle was so so much more unfortunate than me, and I wonder how is SM's phone.
In addition, WS and I, you know, 'it' always happen around the same time. Home-study is difficult, I need a tutor/teacher to guide along.

Oh I want to thank a lot of people for accomanying me. Thanks mamaweiwen thanks Samuel and Chesed... I almost broke their arms! Thanks Shanny, SFC and so.. OH and Jiejie and dona, eh, same ppl HAHA, and rachel CHAN and YQ for welfare's job. =D And visitors and so la. Gosh, WS, your sunflower... my dad shorten it to 1/3 of it's original height la. Haha!

My foot now... well, there is a few patches of blue-blacks and even my toes have swollen. Picture that.

I really wonder what God wants me to learn from this or this is one of His plans... Especially... Today there is a meeting at GBHQ, a DI-meeting and I can't go.

WS was sorry that I did not get the chance to scold. Haha, don't have to. I never want to scold, I wish to know and reason and I want to do thing in God's ways. I never thought of wanting to say so much, like I say, God place you in a higher authority place in my life, I should obey. As for WS, well, she listens to God very closely when it comes to GB, which is why I never really VS her.

Likewise, I felt that you just want to win Gold medal. That is all you want. I never hear from you that you want to develop the girls, spiritually. Does winning a Gold medal raise our status in school higher? Possible. We may even get more girls coming in. That is good I agree but what is the purpose of getting more girls in? When you are not focusing on development of girls' walk with the Lord, the girls' wouldn't feel for the company, the more they will leave, unchanged. Getting more girls in is like asking them in and invite them for a slide game, they will quit where the slide ends which is soon..

Oh you said before to catch what I mean is like putting a puzzle together. Ok, read on.

We are now working so hard for Gold, just to grab a Gold medal. Shouldn't it, we has always been working hard, and our efforts are recognised as time goes? There is no value in getting a Gold medal when we plan our way out within a short time but there is value to show that we having been doing and thus, God recognised our effort.

It was a surprise. After this Papa Lord placed me in SFC, I thought of bringing God to GB through worship, I wished that the girls would catch the lyrics and understand. I want them to grow spiritually. God is beautiful, God is awesome. I want them to remember that.

I am speaking from my view, I never heard from you, I never discuss with you. You don't even want to share your thoughts. Are we too young for you? Too immature for you?

If you have reasons, from the Lord, I have nothing to say.
Why is it that each time we want to talk to each other, it must be a unenviable task?

Now I know why XY complained that my post is very long.

Labels: GB, school

I just feel good. First, SU did something in this Phyarticular class and I was overjoyed. =P

Next, in a way or another, I am starting a year spiritually self-consious.

Lastly, I feel God will bring us through.

This is my A levels year, probably the time where I would spent most money on getting tissues. Nonetheless, I am feeling lighthearted, looking forward and believing that my studies will improve.

I should thanks for the retreat camp and my class chalet. Both are totally different but encouraged me in certain areas. It's just all feel so good.

Labels: school

Are you waiting for me to update?

Haha, the more I blog, the more I feel like I am talking to a big group of people rather than just joting down what is going on.

Rach and Mayee called me after OP. Ha, I like their voices.
AND THAT JOSH, he knew that I would feel tensed up if one delibrately said those things to arouse those negative feelings and Josh kept doing that. URGG.

OP? Haha.
I expected it la but I heed my group's advise. Haha, not advise la. I asked before if I should do detailed research and they didn't think so.

Guess what's my A&Q.

so name me 2 herbs that are facing extinction

HAHA! Well, I was honest enough to tell them that our group didn't exactly went to search the names of that. (oh impact of modernisation is losing herbs. the impacts came upon because there are plants degrading due to lost of wildlife so why not herbs?)

Oh well, it killed me but not a surprise murder question.

After OP, lunch time, then OH MUST SHARE THIS!

I think Miss Ho is another scary woman. SHE TRIED TO MURDER ME! HAHA!!!!

I barely pasted my nametag over her picheon hole and took picture. =D (so you can only see her no, and my name) And I also joked about getting a new card to place on her picheon hole to show that is hers. My suggestion was "Christmas is coming, HO HO HO!"

LOL! She strangled me and knocked me on my head.

AND SU ANNE DREW STH! BUT THEN, Miss Ho took it and ran away. Tsk.

Oh while doing this thing which most of you did today, she couldn't fill up the page and she complained that the rest drew things so it was unfair. Then she complained that we laughed so much that it affected her from getting into emotional mood.

-.-

Oh and she laughed at my contacts. one of the names. a teacher actually. =X Mr. double surname. Oh well, I love it. =D Ok ok, I know it's disrespectful but I like him a lot! As in he's a fun teacher la huh.

The guys went to had lunch together and Ian, well, WeiYang took my laptop. Then the girls went to toa payoh.

People live at Thomson Road always like to say I don't care. Is it? Ian always say that to me and Su kept saying that to Rhon. -.-

Ha, guess what, Ian came to Su's house and helped us out! I was really touched. LOL. oh well, and I managed to torture him with curves! GREAT! ok, maybe not really torture.

It's a dread. I only took bus966 at 10pm.

Su Lynn's friend overheard my laugther on the phone and said I sounded like GAY! MY GOSH! Ha, and I told her to tell her friend I am not straight anyway. LOL.

Rhon and her dad are very funny people. flows in the gene. =D

ARH! I FORGOT TO CALL HIM FATHER-IN-LAW!

Labels: school